Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?

Today I plan to put up several posts to release some of the thoughts that have been banging around in my head!

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

While I find the letter to be extremely funny, I hope that people will see the problems with taking scripture verbatum.Please don’t stone me for speaking out…

Matthew 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. -)


8 Responses to Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?

  1. Bob says:

    Surely you must know that God doesn’t prohibit some activities because He’s trying to keep us from having fun, but because He’s trying to keep us from self-destructing. God calls homosexual behavior is an abomination (which is to say it’s contrary to God’s design) for the very good reason that it destroys both individuals and entire societies.

    It’s a bit disingenuous of you to put Jewish ceremonial law (which gave specific guidance to Levitical priests about what their jobs required) on a par with the moral code (which gives general guidance to mankind about what is degenerate). You understand the difference, but then conclude that none of it matters since some of it no longer applies. If we follow your argument to it’s ultimate conclusion, then we can’t call any behavior “abominable” and we all have liberty to decide what’s “right or wrong” based on our own bent I really see nothing “wrong” lying under oath, you se nothing “wrong” with letting envy go unbridled, and our neighbors are okay with theft, murder, adultery, polygamy, homosexuality, pedaphilia, etc. So can’t we all just get along?

    The answer is no – if each of us makes up his own rules, then we will all descend into the jungle and we won’t return alive. Homosexuality may not seem so abominable to you, but it would if you saw it as God does – as a vile perversion of His great gift of sex, which was intended to cement the bond of love in marriage, and thereby provide a nurturing environment for the children who spring from that union.

  2. CavMom says:

    Bob ~ I am grateful that you stopped in and appreciate your words of wisdom.

    When I posted the silly letter, I did not take many things into consideration. Such as offending others. For that I am truly sorry.

    My first impulse would be to take down the post. However, I have prayed about it and think it is a wonderful opportunity to share my religious views (to some extent).

    First and foremost, I have a very strong love for my Saviour. I read the scriptures on a regular basis and pray for guidance.

    I believe, much as you, that the scriptures were given to us to use as a guideline for our spiritual growth. When I am faced with a challenge, I often open up the scriptures and pour over many verses. I then pray for an understanding.

    What the person, in the letter above, showed me is that anyone can read a verse and come away with a meaning to fit an agenda. Often the true meaning cannot be seen clearly without reading several verses before and after. Even then, I often need to pray to gain a more full understanding.

    I am wrought with inner turmoil. No I do not condone homosexuality and I know that it is not part of God’s greater plan for us. Yet, I always have the verses of Matthew popping into my head:

    1Judge not, that ye be not judged.
    2For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
    3And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

    Alas, I need to work more diligently on my own weaknesses.

    Again I wanted to say thank you for dropping me a note. The Lord works in mysterious ways. 🙂

  3. Bob says:

    No offense taken. It was my own blue-star-mom wife who asked me if I had a clever come back to this post. Alas, my terse wit failed me.

    I agree with you completely. I’d only add what Jesus added:
    Matthew 7:4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
    v5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

    It isn’t love to turn a blind eye to the perversion of homosexuality. If we have real compassion for those poor twisted souls who’ve been victimized by our “tolerant” society, then we have an obligation to help them. As you correctly point out, being spiritual does not mean looking down on those who are lower on the dung heap of sin. But we (having been pulled from the dung heap by the sacrifice of our Lord) must not shirk our duty to help others escape that sewer. Indeed, we must always be on guard lest we slip into “the sin that so easily besets us” (usually pride at having escaped the sin of pride), but we can’t stop there in obeying the New Commandment (John 13:34-35; 15:12).

    Or to use another analogy, a doctor who refuses treatment of his tuberulosis is negligently harming himself and others, but his medical duty calls for him to do more than simply quit coughing on patients. He can’t justify ignoring your lung cancer by saying, “Treat not lest you be treated.”

    Please express Joyce’s and my thanks to your son for his service.

  4. Pheebs says:

    How can you laugh at that letter and agree that the scripture quoted was silly but yet you still think that ‘Oh, the bible shouldn’t be taken seriously unless it’s saying that I should be prejudice for no reason’.
    Homosexuality is just as much a sin as wearing two different kinds of fabric. Which is to say- it’s not.
    As to what Bob said about making sure we do not ‘shirk our duty to help others escape that sewer’, how ignorant can you get? If god did not want homosexuals on our Earth, he would not have put homosexuals on Earth. After all, doesn’t everyone God creates have a purpose in the bigger scheme of things?
    I can tell you now that most homosexuals don’t want to be ‘saved’. They chose their life style, and to me, the fact that god hasn’t ‘struck them down’ or let them suffer is a sure sign that god accepts them for who they are.
    And as for ‘vile perversions of his great gift of sex’… I’m sure homosexuals find a way.
    Also, for the ‘nurturing enviornment for the children that spring from that union’, what about the thousands of children that are born to uncaring parents, or born to parents who die tragically? Gay couples can provide just as nurturning enviornments to those children through adoption than your ‘ideal’ male-female couples.

    This being said, I’m really not trying to be disrespectful (and by trying, I mean I’m trying really, really hard), because obviously you are entitled to your own opinion.
    But I am appalled that some people out there think that others need to be ‘rescued from the dung heap’.
    And Bob, I really don’t buy your BS about not looking down at others that are different from you, because from your posts I find you prejudice and hypocritical… and I cannot believe that your God finds homosexuality an abomination, because I sure as heck know that my God loves EVERYONE. Isn’t that what your religion teaches the children? That God loves all people and animals? Or do you have a little footnote that reads ‘except people that arn’t like us’?
    Lots of love,

  5. David Wolfanger says:

    I just don’t get how we can justify irrational ideas, like how “God” perceives homosexuals or the eating of shellfish, just because we live on this side of the ocean. (Christian God!) With all the Gods that man created we become so egotistical to “believe” that ours is The one. We can discuss the mythical Gods from the past because the people that were conditioned to believe that these Gods were sacred are now dead. I’m looking foward to a time when we evolve to believe in a truly unifying idea (god) that allows a freedom that is unparallelled from the Gods of the past. In the meantime, can you please leave people that don’t meet your narrow view of right and wrong, alone! I implore you to find a greater cause.



  6. Lily says:

    I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
    –Bill Maher

    It is possible– I know it’s difficult to believe, but trust me, it is– to be both accepting, and religious at the same time. The only thing Jesus ever made prominent in his teachings was to love each other as equals. You are clearly disobeying his wishes by hating, spitefully and mockingly, those who are different than you. Why? Are you afraid? Are you just plain immoral? If so– please, leave God and Jesus out of your mortal, racist, affairs. You have no reason to hate except for yourself.

    According to history and the Bible, Jesus died to save us all. Every single one of us. So why are you spending your days making people’s lives hell for nothing? You are forfeiting Jesus’s gift to all of us, and I have no doubt that you will pay for that.

    The bible is not to be taken literally– if that is true, then both you and I would have been killed long, long ago. God does not– I repeat, DOES NOT– judge us for how we are. He judges us for what we do with the situation given to us. Whether we are kind, whether we extend our hands to help those in need, whether we accept our fellow people and go through life being as kind and gracious as we can.

    CavMom– Thank you for posting. It is an extremely amusing letter, one that I will continue to read and laugh at. There must have been some reason to post it, and I sincerely doubt that it was so that you could insult it afterwards. Please, don’t succumb to those who obviously have varying opinions to your own. I respected your bravery… until I read your comment. You were blatantly disrespectful to mankind, and I that is something I–and, in my mind, God– has a hard time forgiving.

    Bob- I respect your right to an opinion. I abhor your opinion. I can stand ignorance, and I can stand arrogance, but how dare you combine them to be so shockingly rude and venomous to the innocent people that have done nothing to hurt anyone?

    You are the reason I am no longer Christian, Bob. You and people like you. I mean no harm or disrespect to any of God’s creations,including you, but when I realized the Bible could be interpreted in such a heinous way, I could no longer bear to call myself Christian. Pity me if you like; it is returned in full force upon you.

    Pheebs- I can feel your anger from here. It is clear that you feel the same way about this as I; and it restores my faith in humanity slightly to read your comment. I doubt you were unnecessarily angry, and greatly respect the courage you showed ‘sticking up’ for your fellow human beings.

    David– Though I disagree with you slightly on some counts, I willingly appreciate your comment. Right and wrong is really in the eyes of the viewer; and the viewer should let everyone else see it their own way–I believe this, up till the point of cruelty and disrespect, which was the essence of the opinions of those who commented previous to Pheebs. Although my respect and liking of those who believe homosexuality is an abomination dims slightly, I still would like to show them kindness and patience. They make this difficult.

    Although I agree with less than half of you, I applaud all those who commented on their astounding self-control; with an issue this important, I know as well as anyone that it is hard to restrain from ripping each other’s heads off.

    Please– don’t break the trend. Peace.

    With the utmost respect,


  7. […] https://cavmom.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/why-cant-i-own-a-canadian/ Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Let’s hear it for faith-based laws!Own The Podium – Vancouver 2010 […]

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